Friday, February 17, 2006

The one that mattered

Last night I was working again at home and rushing things up when Fergus came to me and mumbled his usual antics, the kind he does when he wanted to play. Being submerged in the middle of the things I wanted to finish, I just looked at him and told him to not disturb me and go play with his mommy.

I thought it would be okay since he left the room. But after a minute, he was back again bringing some of his Justice League toys and mumbled "karga". He wanted to sit in my lap. I began to be irritated, but since I really wanted to finish my work without being angry and be distructed, I just lifted him and let him sit in my lap while I went on to toggle with my laptop.

He then began with his "what's the sound of" word parade. I answered some of it but when he sensed that I was not paying attention to his questions anymore, he began to point to the monitor and told me that he wanted to see pictures (in his own kiddy words of course). When I didn't listen he began to cry. I think out of tiredness, I shouted at him that I needed to finish my work. I think he understood so he just went to the bed and curled there sobbing silently, biting his favorite blanket.

Looking at him this way made me feel sorry so I stopped working, hugged him and started to play with him. I guess I was so lost with so many things going on in work and in my mind that I forgot why I'm working in the first place. That I'm making all of these things for his future. And I'm doing it because I love him very much. And I felt sorry that I became irritated that he interfered while I was working because he let me see the point of it all. Why would I slave myself doing all these work if I can't even spend time to the one that really mattered? My son is 2 years old and is growing too fast. He has so many questions, really curios and very active. And I should be always there to answer his queries, no matter how absurd or out- of this world it can be, or be ready to play whenever he wanted to. Because as what my father used to tell me, being a father is far more than putting your spermatozoa in a woman's womb and impregnate her. I have more obligations than feeding or giving my kid financial security. It is my duty as a parent to show him that he is loved, to guide him in the right path as he grows and show to him that his happiness is my joy, and that his pain is mine too.