Looking back my Past

I pity the people who hide where they came from or those who are ashamed to admit things about their past. I feel sorry for them because no matter how much success they can achieve in their lives, they will forever live in fear. And they have the reason to be afraid of. If they cannot accept their own past, I see no reason why society will. The truth is, society never give a damn. Some people may judge you, but believe me, most will even admire you for reaching where you are now (if you achieved high- stature in life) and appreciate how you climbed you way up.

Well I'm not there yet (laughs). And I don’t even think I’ll ever be rich enough to make my income exceed far more than that of my needs and wants. In my 30 years of existence I still have to find the golden cup to end all the problems I am having now in my life. But one of the things I cherished more like treasures aside from my family, wife and child is my past. I've never tried to block out the memories of my past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. People who live in the past generally are afraid to compete in the present. I've got my faults, but lying about my past is not one of them. There's no future in it. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now. It molded you to be stronger and better. I think one of my fondest would be my childhood. Until now I still recollect with smiles the times when I go with my parents and siblings to a river picnic or in the beach bringing along lunch and just be who we were--a happy big family. "Happy", I guess was the key why I'm not ashamed to say that I was raised in a rural place. That I played with dirt and ran carefree in the rain with my friends in the grass field. That I was the eldest of 8 siblings who has looked at me ever since as an inspiration. That I was raised in a humble but very warm home. That I've learned so many things in life-- both good and bad--being in the place that I still call home. I've had so many things I can still recall, like pain and hurt and happiness and glee. But shame and to feel sorry are not one of them. It was brief, I know. Because I was too in a hurry to be on my own footing. But it sure was worth to look back for.

Looking back now, I wish I never tried so hard to grow up very fast that I haven't enjoyed that childhood to the fullest. Still, it has it’s own happy highlights worth remembering for. I realize that a very special person passed briefly through my life--and it was not the girls I was foolishly infatuated with when I was young, or the persons I truly idolized before-- it was me. My childhood. Now it is not too late to find that person again. For I have nothing of him but a memory.

Below is a song by a filipino artist whom I like so much because it brings so much memory of my childhood and growing up days.



Kanlungan
by: Noel Cabangon

Panapanahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon

Natatandaan mo pa ba
Nang tayong dalawa ay unang nagkita
Panahon ng kamusmusan
Sa piling ng mga bulaklak at halaman
Doon tayo nag simulang
Mangarap at tumula

Natatandaan mo pa ba
Inukit mong puso sa punong mangga
At ang inalay kong gumamela
Magkahawak-kamay sa dalampasigan
Malayang tulad ng mga ibon
Ang gunita ng ating kahapon

Ang mga puno't halaman
Ay kabiyak ng ating gunita
Sa pag-lipas ng panahon
Bakit kailangang din lumisan
Panapanahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon

Ngayon ikaw ay nagbalik
At tulad ko rin ang iyong pananabik
Makita ang dating kanlungan
Tahanan ng ating tula at pangarap
Ngayon ay naglaho na
Saan hahanapin pa?

Lumilipas ang panahon
Kabiyak ng ating gunita
Ang mga puno't halaman
Bakit kailangang lumisan
Panapanahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon

Lumilipas ang panahon
Kabiyak ng ating gunita
Ang mga puno't halaman
Bakit kailangang lumisan
Panapanahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon